Thursday, December 26, 2013

Emmy, Emmy, quite contrary

This one needs no context I think...

Em: Mummy, do people hate children?
Me: What?
Em: Do people hate children?
Me: What, all people?
Em: No, just some people far away.
Me: There are some people who don't like children, yes.
Em: What if they grow a children?
Me:  Well, people who don't like children usually don't grow children. (pause)  You're a random child.
Em: No I'm not! I'm not random!
Me: It's good to be random! I'm random too.
Em: I'm not random!
Me: You don't even know what random means.
Em: Tell me what it means then.
Me: It means creative and interesting.
Em: I'm not interesting!
Me: Ok, fine, you're boring then.
Em: No I'm not! I'm not boring! And I'm not interesting!
Me: You're contrary.
Em: No I'm not! What does it mean?
Me: It means you disagree with everything I say.
Em: No I don't!


Saturday, December 21, 2013

My Little Monster [Ponies]

I came into the living room the other day to discover that Ember had 'coloured in' a number of her my little ponies to make them into 'monster ponies'.  "Daddy says it will come off" she reassured me.

A couple of days later I tested this by taking one of the ponies into the bathroom and scrubbing it with a nail brush and various types of soap. Needless to say, the colouring didn't come off.

Me: Ember, I don't think this colour is going to come off your ponies.
Em: That's ok, I like them like this.
Me: Well make sure you don't scribble on any more of your toys please.
Em: It's not scribbling, they're monster ponies!
Me: It looks like scribbling to me...
Em: Mummy!  They're just monster ponies ok?  You're just going to have to accept that and move on.

I had no comeback.