An Epic Sleepover

Ember is going for her first sleepover at a friend's house tomorrow night.  She's stayed at Nana's a couple of times without us there, but this will be the first time at a friend's.  She's very excited about it and couldn't stop talking about it this evening.

Em: I'll miss you when I'm at M's house.  Will you miss me?
Me: I sure will.
Em: I'm just staying at M's house for one night aren't I?
Me: Yes, just tomorrow night.
Em: Oh.  I wish I could stay lots of nights.  I wish I could stay for one thousand nights! That would be long, wouldn't it?
Me: It would be long.  That would be about three years.  You'd be there till you were eight!
Em: I'd have to have my birthday there?
Me: Yep.
Em: Ok, I want to do that.
Me: I'd miss you if you were gone that long.  Wouldn't you miss Daddy and me?
Em: You could come and visit.  You could come too!
Me: Where would I sleep?
Em: No, not to stay.  You could just come for the party and then go off again.
Me: Thanks very much!
Em: Tomorrow is going to be so much fun, ay Mum?  But not for you ay Mum?  You're not staying at someone's house; you're going to have a boring day!

Here's hoping it goes as well as anticipated...

It's (a kind of) magic?

Ember was in the bath yesterday when she did a "bottom burp"...

Em: (giggles) I did farties! 
Me: I know, I saw the bubbles.
Em: Farties in the bath makes bubbles.  That's maaaaagic, isn't it Mummy?
Me: Well, not really.  It's science.  Farts are air, and when you release air under the water it makes air bubbles.
Em: No, it's magic.  Lots of things are magic.
Me: What do you think magic is?
Em: Magic!
Me: Magic is mostly things we can't explain. Things that we know why and how they happen are science.  Like bubbles, and how plants grow, and why the sky is blue.
Em: I know why the sky is blue.
Me: Why?
Em: Because that's its colour! (pause) Magic bubbles!

Sometimes conversations with Ember just make me realise how little I know...

Delusions of Cinderella

Today is ANZAC Day in New Zealand, which is a public holiday, and Ember and I decided to make Anzac biscuits.  We needed golden syrup, so we popped round to Mum's (aka Nana Jay's) to borrow some.  Her small dog, Kanji, was very stinky, and Ember was delighted to "help" give him a bath while we were there. Poppa John arrived back home just as we were leaving...

Em: (to Poppa John) We gave Kanji a bath!
Me: (to Nana Jay) Ember and [her friend] M ended up having a bath today too, because they did some painting and ended up painting themselves.
NJ:  I'm sure they did.

This conversation continued as I was strapping Em into her car seat, and in the car on the way home:
Em: I painted on my tummy by accident!
Me: I don't think it was an accident...
Em: Why? Did you saw me?
Me: No, but it's pretty hard to paint dots on your tummy by accident.
Em: Mummy.  I'm very sorry but I did do it on purpose. 
Me: That's ok.
Em: Are you cross at me?
Me: No.
Em: You should be cross at me, because I did it on purpose.
Me: Well, it's not the world's greatest crime.
Em: But I did it on purpose.
Me: Do you want me to be cross with you?
Em: No.  (pause) Why do you always get cross at me?
Me: I'm not always cross with you!
Em: Yes you are, you say "Darling! Wash the floor!"
Me: No I don't!
Em: (laughing) Yes you do!  You say "Darling! Wash the floor! Darling! Clean the kitchen! Wash the table!
Me: I do not!
Em: I'm just tricking you Mummy.  Shall I trick you again?
Me: Ok
Em: Mummy! There's a monster about to eat you! (pause) Just tricking!

Trees have all the luck

We were up at Starship (the Auckland Children's Hospital) today for Ember's MRI scan - it looks like she has the all-clear, so we've been discharged from Starship and will now be seen by the visiting oncologist at Waikato once a year.  Hurrah!  Ember and I had some great conversations (she wants to live at Ronald McDonald House, where we stayed last night), but this one in the car coming home was a particular classic.  It came completely out of the blue; I hadn't told her off or anything...

Em: You can do everything you want to do Mummy?
Me: Um, no... What do you mean?
Em: Well you're a grown up, and grown ups can do everything they want to.
Me: No we can't.
Em: But just kids have to do what the teachers and their mummy and daddy say.  Grown ups doesn't do that.
Me: Grown ups have rules they have to follow too.  We have laws, and there are things like manners and customs too. It's a bit hard to explain, but we can't do anything we want to do.
Em: Oh.  Just trees and leaves can do everything they want?
Me: Yes, I suppose they can.
Em: Why?  Because they just sit there and say hello and wave their leaves at us?
Me: ...yes, probably...

A lesson in sharing

It's been a while since my last post, but certainly not because there have been no Emberisms, more because of illness and lack of time.  I had three days in Auckland for work in late March, followed by a family wedding during which I got a nasty flu-like virus, then had to have a week off work, and then spent most of Easter recovering as well.  Ember got it too, but all she had was a slightly raised temperature which a paracetamol/ibuprofen combo knocked on the head very effectively.  She revelled in being sick though, telling everyone she met "I've got the germs.  My mummy gave me the germs!"

The wedding (my cousin's) and celebrations took place over two days, so we stayed at  little pub hotel  in Clevedon for a couple of nights.  My mum and 'Poppa John' stayed in the same hotel. Ember was delighted to meet up with her big cousin (second cousin technically, but who's counting?!), ten-year-old Isabella again, and Bella took Em firmly under her wing.  They had such a good time that Em was determined that Bella should come and have a sleep over with us...

Em: Can Isabella come for a sleepover?
Me: Yep, we'll see if she and her Mummy or Nana can come to our house in the school holidays maybe.
Em: No, I want her to come for a sleepover tonight!
Me: She can't Em, we're staying at the hotel, there isn't enough room.
Em: Yes, she can sleep in the bed with us.
Me: Ember, you, daddy and me are already sharing one double bed, there really isn't room for anyone else, and I'm sure Isabella wouldn't want to do that anyway!
Em: She could sleep in Nana's room!
Me: No sweetie, Nana and Poppa John are already in there, there isn't room.
Em: Isabella could sleep in the middle!
Me: No, Poppa John needs his space.
Em: Well I'm going to ring Preschool, and they'll tell him he has to share!

Needless to say, Isabella did not have a sleepover that night, but "I'm going to ring Preschool and they'll say you have to share" has become a bit of a catchphrase around here!

If you go down to the woods today...

My baby seems to have become grown up all of a sudden, and some of the change seems to have resulted from her first foray with the Ngahere Explorers, the group of oldest kids at Preschool who spend one day of each week exploring the natural world.  Based on the German Waldkindergärten ("forest kindergarten") philosophy, two teachers take a small group of children go to Pukemokemoke bush reserve for the day where they play and learn in the bush.

Ember was a last-minute ring in on Thursday, and I wasn't entirely sure how she would go, not being a keen walker in general.  However, away from the parentals she stepped up to the challenge, walked the whole way and had a fasntasic time.  

She was telling me all about it on the way home, and some parts of the conversation were rather lovely/funny, so I've tried to capture as much as I remember!

Me: Did you have a good time being a Ngahere Explorer today?
Em: Yes, we goed on the bus, and I walked all the time.  Teachers can't carry you.
Me: No, they can't.  Who did you sit with on the bus?
Em: I sat with A and we talked all the way, but just quietly so we didn't distract the driver.
Me: That's good.  And did you have a backpack on when you went walking?  Or did you leave it in the bus?
Em: We had the backpacks on with our lunchboxes when we got to the hungry place.  And some of the backpacks had whistles and I wanted a green whistle but I didn't get any whistle.
Me: Maybe the kids who have been explorers a few times get to have the whistles.  What are the whistles for?
Em: In case there's a mergency.  We saw lots of Tane Mahutas* and A was ripping the leaves and killing the Tane Mahutas.  That's not kind is it Mummy?
Me: No.
Em: And we saw a nikau plant and Tim ripped the leaf but it was a dead one so he's allowed to do that.  I'm not a plant of tree am I Mummy?
Me: No...
Em: Why is there a Niko plant and not an Ember plant?
Me: Well, it's not a Niko plant (Niko is a boy at Preschool), it's a nikau palm.  Niko and nikau sound the same but they're spelled differently.
Em: Well Tim said it's a Niko plant.  But there's no Ember plant.
Me: There might be, somewhere in the world.
Em: No there isn't, Tim told me.
Me: Ok then. (pause) Do you remember meeting Jeanie in my office today?  She lives just by Pukemokemoke reserve, the place where you went today.  Her family look after the bush reserve.
Em: I want to go to her house.  Does she have toys there?
Me: No, I don't think so.
Em: Oh.  That doesn't matter, I can just take my toys to her house.  Why doesn't she have any toys?
Me: She doesn't have any kids.
Em: Why not?
Me: I don't know.  Not everyone has kids.
Em: They have to!
Me: No they don't.  Some people don't want to have kids.
Em: They should. They should just grow one in their tummies.
Me: Well, it's not quite that easy.  Some people don't want to have kids. And some people can't grow babies in their tummies.
Em: They has to!
Me:  Why does everyone have to have kids?
Em: Because they're so lovely!

Well that may be debatable, but I decided not to go into it!  She certainly learned a lot from her first day as a Ngahere Explorer; I'm looking forward to hearing what she gets up to next.

* 'Tane Mahuta' (tar-nay mar-hoo-tah) means God of the Forest and usually refers to the biggest of New Zealand's native kauri trees.  I'm not entirely sure in what context Ember meant it!

The rainbow gates sound horrid...

Ember and I were at the playground today and she met a little friend called Trinity.  On the way home I was telling her that Trinity was one of the names Simon liked, and that we had thought about when we were deciding what name to give her, along with Azura and Isabella.  Ember liked the idea of Isabella because it's the name of a Queen in one of her movies.

Me: Well, there's a book and a movie called "The City of Ember".
Em: Really?  Can I watch it?
Me: One day.
Em: Is there a girl in that movie called Ember?
Me: No, they all live in an underground city, and the city is called Ember.  Like we live in Raglan, they live in Ember.
Em: They live in Ember! That's funny! People can't be called a name of living!
Me: There are quite a few people's names which are also place names.  Like Paris.  There's a city in France called Paris, and there are some people called Paris too.
Em: I know one, it's called Shance
Me: Chance?
Em: No, Shance.
Me: What's Shance?
Em: It's a living place and a people name.  There is heaps of treasure and chocolate coins!
Me: In Shance the place?
Em: Yep.  And all the gates are made of rainbows! (throwing her arms into the air, dramatically)
Me: Wow, that sounds cool.
Em: Yep.  And animals!  Just baby animals with no families, and they stay baby animals all the time.  Kittens, and lions, and dogs, and T Rexs.
Me: T Rex? Uh oh, what if it eats everyone?
Em: No, it won't eat the people because it's just a baby one and he's a she... she's a she.  Is she means girl?
Me: Yep
Em: Oh.  He's a he.  And when he grows up, he's a nice one.

Just as we arrived home, a whole flock of sparrows took off from a tree, flying overhead.

Em: Look at those birds!  They're so horrid.  Horrid means lovely.
Me: No it doesn't, horrid means horrible.
Em: Well in my words horrid is a different one and it means lovely.

Religious Education, of sorts

Ember and I drove past the Anglican church on our way to the shop this afternoon.  We drive that way most days, but something about it must have caught her eye today.

Em: One day can we go in there?
Me: In where? In the church?
Em: Yeah, one day when it's open can you park outside there so we can go in?
Me:  I suppose so.  Why do you want to go in there? What do you think is inside?
Em: I just don't know that.
Me: Well, it's a church.  There's not anything to buy or really anything to look at.  There are just lots of seats and things.  Sometimes they have beautiful windows. People go there to learn about God and Jesus and things.
Em: I want to do that.
Me: Do you know about God and Jesus?  Do you remember me telling you about it another time?
Em: No.
Me:  It's a bit hard to explain, but some people believe that God made the world and everything, and is still all around us.  Jesus was God's son.
Em: I want to visit him!
Me:  He doesn't live in the church.  He lived a long long time ago.  Anyway people who believe in God and Jesus are called Christians.  There are other people who believe in  different god, or gods; people who are Jewish or Muslim or Hindu or Buddhist.  I don't believe in any gods, so I'm called an atheist.  And there are some people who don't really know whether they believe in a god or not, and they're called agnostics.
Em: I know there's a God.
Me: Do you?  How do you know that?
Em:  I just does.
Me: What do you think God does?
Em: He protects us.  And he says "Roll the boat!" and we have to say "Yes Sir!"
Me: Oh. Ok. (pause) "Roll the boat"?
Em: Yep, he says "Roll the boat, roll the boat" and everyone says "Yes Sir!"
Me: Right.  Where do you think God lives?
Em: A long long long way away, with the enjers.
Me: Enjers?  Do you mean angels?
Em: Nope, enjers.  The enjers are little things which are really scary and dangerous.

Fortunately, at that moment, we arrived at the shop!  I'm not sure our version of religious education is quite the same as anywhere else!!

A fishy tale

Ember was eating her dinner tonight when she suddenly said:

Em: Mama, is the big big fish under our path?
Me: Um, what?
Em: Is the big big fish under our trees and our path?

She's had a wee cold and her voice was croaky, so I couldn't quite hear what she was saying.

Me: Sorry hun, I can't quite hear you.  Is the big fish where?
Em: Under our trees and our path? And under our sky?
Me: Is the big big fish under our trees and our path?
Em: Yes!
Me: I don't know what you mean Ember.  What big fish?
Em: In the Maui book.

Finally it clicked.  One of Ember's favourite books is "Te Ika a Maui - The Fish of Maui".  It's a Maori legend about a demi-god, Maui, who fishes up the North Island of New Zealand using his grandfather's magic jawbone. (Trust me, it all makes sense)  If you look at the shape of New Zealand, the North Island looks a bit like a stingray, and the South Island looks a bit like a canoe (waka).  Hence the legend. Ever since we first read that story, Ember has been fascinated by the fact that we live on the back of a giant fish. 

Of course, it's been about three months since we last read that book, and it was completely out of the blue, so hopefully Mama can be forgiven her slowness!

So that's where she gets it...

Simon has been earning son-in-law brownie points recently helping Mum and John with their deck and fence requirements at their new house. Today I headed straight round there after work as John was making "thank you pizzas" for dinner. Si had popped home for a shower and I rang him to ask him to bring up my Cheezly (dairy-free "cheese") to put on my pizza.

He was walking back up to Mum's with Tabasco, our dog, when he passed the retirement home at the top of the hill. There was a rather doddery looking Elderly Gentleman outside, so Simon said:

Si: Good evening.
EG: What a lovely morning.
Si: Cheezly! (suddenly remembering my request)
EG: Oh, I meant lovely dog!

The Monty Python crew would be proud...