Wednesday, September 26, 2012


On seeing a cyclist dressed head to toe in hi-viz orange:

Em: (cracks up laughing) Look Mummy, he's got orange all over himself!

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Magic People, Boys and Babies

A few Emberisms from the last couple of days:

On Boys
I took Ember to Playcentre on Wednesday and as we were leaving I asked her:

Me: Did you have a good time Ember?
Em: Yep. I played with B
Me: Did you have fun playing with B?
Em: Yep (indignant voice) But I doesn't like her sister!
Me: Her sister?  You mean N? He's her brother.
Em: Yeah, I didn't like her brother. I didn't like that boy. I don't like boys. They get in my way.
Me: You like A and  L and M at Preschool don't you?
Em: Yes.
Me: Well they're boys. So you do like boys.
Em: I just don't like boys who get in my way!


On Magic

Randomly today while she was on her scooter coming over the footbridge:

Em: I wish I could see a magic person.  I don't have any magic people in my life.


On Giving Birth

I was brushing my teeth when Ember came into the bathroom, holding her baby doll (who, in fact, used to be my baby doll when I was a little girl!):

Em: Look Mummy, this baby was in my tummy and then she just plopped out!
Me: Oh, she just plopped out did she?
Em: Yep, but it's ok, my tummy didn't break.
Me: Oh good!

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

You WILL have a lovely day, or else...

I took Ember to the dentist at lunchtime today, and she was very good despite having to have one filling (oh, the shame!)  The only thing she really didn't like was having the cotton wad thingy by her tongue.

I dropped her back at Preschool afterwards and as I went to leave she suddenly came running after me again...

Em: Mummy! Don't go yet! I have to give you a cuddle and a big kiss!
Me: Ok!  (I give her a big cuddle and kiss as requested)
Em: (putting her hands either side of my face and putting on her serious voice) Now Mummy, remember to have a nice day.  If you have a boring day I won't be able to come home with you, but if you just have a lovely day then I will come home with you, ok? That's my deal.
Me: All right, I'll make sure I have a lovely day then.
Em: And make sure you don't annoy all the people, ok?
Me: I'll do my best.

Friday, September 14, 2012

A sad tale...

When I got home from work this evening I said to Ember:

Me: Did you have a nice day Em?
Em: yep
Me: What did you do?
Em: Nothing. I just sat on the couch all day and cried because I missed you.
Me: ha. I thought you went to the library and the beach and the dump and Laura's house?
Em: no I didn't. Who said that? Did Daddy said that?
Me: yes, he did.
Em: oh, he was just lying. I just sat on the couch.

Saturday, September 8, 2012

Big kids, cookies and buses

We've had a few choice Ember quotes today, so I thought I'd cluster them into one post.

The first was this morning, when the weather was still being nice to us, and Ember was on the trampoline.  She was trying to keep 2 year old Millie off the trampoline and said to me:

Em: She can't come on here because big kids are on here. Big kids are very dangerous and big kids are very tough.


Later on, after the rain set in, Ember asked if we bake some chocolate chip cookies.  I found a recipe, we went to the shop to get the ingredients we needed, then came home and made them.  She helped me do the measuring and mixing, and then ran off to watch Daddy play Mario Kart until they were ready.  When I had gotten them out of the oven, she came running over for a look.

Em: Oh! No Mummy you made the wrong cookies!You should have made the ones like this! (pulls down her top to show me her chest, pointing at herself)
Me: Like what? I don’t know what you mean.
Em: Like this! Like my skin, this colour.

My biscuits were not burnt, but I think she was after something like Griffins chocolate chip biscuits!  I did make her one shaped like a butterfly, which she thought was very beautiful, but she had one bite and declared she didn't like it and reiterated that I was supposed to make the ones like her skin.

 Driving back from the "Raglan Mall" (i.e. the dump!) we spotted the Raglan bus. Me: Look Ember, there's the bus.
Em: That's just the blue bus.  I hate that blue bus, I only like the green bus.
Me: Look, it's got a picture of the pub on the side
Em: (gasp) It looks like the same pub!  Daddy, did you see that? It looked like the same pub!
Si: No.
Em: You missed it?
Si: Yep
Em: Oh Daddy, you always miss things...

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

The most complicated game of tag ever

Ember's latest favourite bath toys are her 'My Little Ponies', three of which actually were my little ponies when I was about her age.  The Ponies were playing games in the bath tonight - first Rainbow Dash was teaching Autumn Leaf how to swish her tail, and then they started playing tag.

Me: Did you play tag at Preschool today?
Em: No, I never played it in my whole life.
Me: Do you know how to play tag?
Em: Well I wanted to play it but Aidan didn't want to; he didn't care.
Me: But do you know how to play?
Em: The people chase you and then they touch them and say 'tag'!
Me: Yes, and then what happens if you get tagged?
Em: They run after the other people and say 'tag'
Me: Yep, so, if I was 'it' and I chased after you and tagged you, then you would be 'it' and you would have to chase the other people and try to tag one of them and make them 'it'.
Em: (gasps in delight) Yes! And if you were, if we were twins and I was a girl and you was a girl and I didn’t have a mummy or daddy and I was a sister and you were a sister and daddy was a sister then we could play tag and I could be it!

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Future alcoholic?

Ember is quite fond of the pub - no prizes for guessing where she gets that from!  But it can get embarrassing (amusing!) at times, for example:

Walking past the pub one weekend, about 11am on a fine day with lots of people on the veranda:
Em:  Look!  That's the pub! Daddy goes there!  Do you want a beer Mummy?
Me: Um, no, not quite yet, thanks.


One morning, getting ready to go to the library:
Em: Are we going to the pub? Is the pub open?
Me: No! It's still morning.
Em: The pub doesn't open in the morning?
Me: No.  Well, it does, but only for breakfast.

Later that week:
Em: What's the time?
Me: It's 10.30
Em: Is it lunchtime?
Me: No, it's morning.
Em: What's morning?
Me: Morning is the part of the day from when we get up until lunchtime, then it's afternoon until dinnertime and then it's night time.
Em: Oh. Afternoon is when the pub is open? And morning is just for breakfast at the pub?
Me: (laughing) Yes!

Today, coming up the driveway of a friend's house and realising we could see out over the town centre:
Em: (very excited) Look! I can see the pub roof!

I wonder if it's something to do with being half British?!

Saturday, September 1, 2012

The next Pulitzer Prize contender - Camp on the Farm

I arrived back home yesterday after a week away and Ember was almost as pleased to see me as she was to see the toy dog I brought back for her.  I had promised to bring her back a present, and she found "Brown" at the airport when they came to see me off!  Thankfully he was still there when I arrived back.

This morning I was in bed reading my book when Ember took it off me and, as she often does with 'big' books, made up a table of contents of the stories it apparently contained and asked me which one I wanted her to read to me.  The stories were mostly along the lines of "I get left at Teenies" and "I show Aidan my toy dog at Preschool", but one was called "Camp on the Farm".  I wasn't sure Ember knew what camping was, so I requested that story.

Em: One day there was a camp on a farm and all the animals were missing.And the farmer had left the door open. And he didn’t know.
Me: What happened next? How did he get the animals back?
Em: Well, Nana Jay made him promise, and he did promise, but he didn’t promise because he was a greedy farmer.But he was a little boy and he thinked he was a farmer. And the real farmer was a grown up and he was a nice one and he promised.
Me: And did he get all the animals back?
Em: Yep, and all the animals wanted to stay in the camp! And there were twenty camps and twenty animals so they could stay in the camps and they got one each.
Me: (getting some maths in!) What would happen if there were twenty animals but only ten camps? How many animals would have to sleep in each camp then?
Em: Um, both of them.
I took that to mean that she had worked out there would be two animals in each camp, and that she is clearly a maths genius ;)  But I'm still not sure if she knows what a camp is!