Thursday, March 29, 2012

Ember Out-Embered

We popped down to one of our local bars the other night for a drink with friends.  Ember is great to take out at the moment (a remarkable change from a few months ago when it was nearly impossible) as she gets straight into the toy box (we only go places with toy boxes) and starts making up little imaginary games with whatever toys are available.  Anyway, this particular evening there were two families having dinner there as well, and the kids came over to check out Ember and the toys.  The older girl, G, who was "five-and-a-half" was exactly how I imagine Ember will be when she gets to that age.  Ember immediately fell in hero-worship with G, and they had a great time playing together.  G also had some big conversations with us, including giving Hannah the new name of 'Nailpolish', and me the new name of 'Watchy' (because I have a cool watch, not because I'm some kind of creepy stalker!)

But my favourite conversation of the night went like this:

G:  I've eaten a pig's bum.
Me: Have you?  I haven't.  I don't eat pigs.
G:  What about ham?
Me: No, I don't eat ham.  I don't eat any animals.
G:  What about cows?
Me: No.
G: What about chickens?
Me: No, no animals at all.
G:  Well, you just don't really eat anything then, do you?!
Me: (laughing) I eat lots of things! Fruit, and vegetables, tofu, chickpeas, rice, pasta...
G: But not pigs?
Me: No.
G: And not cows?
Me: No.
G: (in what was obviously 'Mum's' voice) Fussy, fussy, fussy, fussy...

Ember spent most of the rest of the night coming up to me and saying "You eat pigs' bums!"

Monday, March 26, 2012

Best friends (Maaaaa...)

This evening while getting ready for bed, Ember said to me:

Em: Are you my friend Mummy?
Me: Yes, you're my best friend in the whole world.
Em: You're my second friend in the world. Daddy's my best friend.
Me: Is he? Why is Daddy your best friend?
Em: Because he's my moon friend, and you're my star friend. (pause) And Hannah's my goat.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Oh the humanity!

On the way home from work/Toddlers today, we had this little gem of a conversation:

Me: Do you know who's coming with us tomorrow?
Em: Who?
Me: Tabasco (our dog) - he's going to get a haircut.
Em: So he can get all fluffly?
Me: Well, no, so he can get less fluffy really.
Em: (pause) But he doesn't like to get cut, it might ouch him.
Me: He's not going to get cut, just his hair.
Em: Like you cut my hair?
Me: Yep.
Em: You cut my hair and I got brown hair.  You got brown hair like me Mummy!
Me: Yes, sort of.  I need to give you another hair cut don't I?
Em: (silence)
Me: It's either a hair cut or pigtails every day, what would you prefer?
Em: (decidedly) A hair cut.
Me: But you look so cute with pigtails!
Em: No, it hurts me when you do those pigtails.
Me: No it doesn't.
Em: Yes, you go wrap and wrap and wrap and wrap and it hurts me, it really hurts me.
Me: It's not that bad.
Em: Yes it does Mummy, so you don't got to make me sad and crying!
Me: Oh, well sorry!
Em: Don't talk to me now Mummy, I need a little rest.

Monday, March 19, 2012

Caves - thankfully bear-free

We visited the Waitomo Caves on Sunday (readers of the previous post will be pleased to note that there were no bears, and we did not see any spiders). Ember was very good, even though a lot of the adventure involved two things she isn't very keen on - the dark and being quiet.

After both tours (glow worm cave and Ruakuri Cave) and a total of about 2 and a half hours underground, we went back into Waitomo to a cafe and said to Ember:

Me: Did you like the caves Ember?
Em: Yep!
Me: what was your favourite part?
Em: ummm... The outside bit.

Perhaps not a future spelunker!

Saturday, March 17, 2012

If karma doesn't get you, the spiders will...

We are taking Hannah to Waitomo Caves tomorrow, and although I had told Ember we were going to see the glow worms, I don't think I had mentioned the caves themselves.  Tonight, while I was trying to encourage her to go to sleep, we had the following conversation:

Me: Come on Em, you need to go to sleep; we're getting up early tomorrow to go to the caves.
Em: (gasps) Caves?  Will there be bears in there?
Me: No, no bears.  Just glow worms.
Em: Will there be spiders?
Me: There will be spiders, but we probably won't see them.
Em: And they will hurt us?
Me: No, they won't hurt us. You probably won't even see them.
Em: They will hide from us?
Me: Yes.
Em: They will be hiding in the little birthday cave?
Me: Ummmm... yes (why not?!)
Em: And we can't go in that little birthday cave?
Me: No.
Em: Because the spiders will hurt us and kill us if we go in there?
Me: No, spiders don't usually hurt people at all.
Em: Just naughty people? Spiders don't hurt good girls, just naughty people?
Me: Uh, sure.
Em: Jake is a naughty people.
Me: Is he?*
Em: Yes, he is. The spiders are going to hurt him soon.
Me: I don't think they will.
Em: Yes, they will.  The spiders will hurt Jake. But not me. I'm a good girl.

Hmmm, somewhat debatable at times I feel!

*Jake (name changed!!) is a very cute but somewhat mischievous boy from creche.  We hear lots of stories about how naughty Jake is, but Ember also seems to enjoy playing with him. I think he'll go a long way, because his grin is too cute to stay cross with him for long!

Friday, March 16, 2012

Spidermans and Butterflies

Earlier this week I picked Ember up from creche and discovered that she had her face painted like Spiderman. To my knowledge, Ember has never seen Spiderman but probably decided it looked cool after seeing one of the other kids similarly decorated.

Me: Oh look, I haven't got an Ember to pick up, I've got a Spiderman!
Em: I'm Spiderman RARR
Me: I didn't know Spiderman said RARR
Em: Yep, they does. Spidermans says RARRR! RARRR! RAARRRR! (at various other children and parents)

Later, in the car.
Em: I'm hungry Mummy.  Spidermans need treats.
Me: What does Spiderman eat?
Em: Spidermans eat spiders!  RARR!
Me: Do they now?
Em: Yes, they does.  They eat spiders and the spiders come along and the Spidermans eat them all up.  But only lolly spiders.  I like lolly spiders. I got spiders at my house, I got spiders at my new green house and they is lolly spiders and I eat them all up. I can't see those spiders.
Si: I can (I have a car spider.  It's friendly so far though)
Em: Oh, yep, there it is.  I has to eat it now.
Me: Is is a real spider or a lolly spider?
Em: Um, a lolly spider.  I see that spider and it's in my tummy now.  It's in my tummy now Mama.
Me: Oh, good.

Later, walking back up the hill from the dog park.
Em: Look at that butterfly!
Me: It's pretty isn't it?
Em: Can I chase it?
Me: No, it's on the other side of the road and there's no footpath. You can't run over there to chase it.
Em: Ohhh. But please Mummy.
Me: No, you can't go on the road!
Em: But Spidermans chase butterflies. They does. Spidermans has to chase butterflies.
Me: I thought Spiderman chased bad guys.  Naughty people.
Em: Um, yep, they does, Spidermans chase naughty people AND butterflies.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Conversations in the car...

We currently have a friend from London staying, Hannah, who can now attest to the accuracy of this blog!  We have just returned from a trip to Kerikeri where we hung out with Gran and Brian, and Hannah also went on a bus trip up to Cape Reinga.  A lovely time was had by all, and we are now back in Auckland for a couple of days before heading home to Raglan.  We've had a few funny conversations over the course of the car journey - here is a selection of ones I can remember.

On our way North, Hannah commented that there weren't as many sheep as she had been expecting.  I explained that there are fewer up North, but that she would see plenty during her stay in New Zealand.
Me: I'll have to take you to Rotorua to see the sheep show at the Agrodome.
Em: Can I come to the sheep show?
Me: Yes.
Em: Is there a witch in it?
Me: Uh, no, it's not that kind of show.  It's just about sheep.
Em: Do they kill them?
Me: No!
Em: Why?
Me: It's not that kind of show!


In Orewa, after stretching our legs at the playground and refuelling the car and ourselves, Ember must have decided Hannah was looking dehydrated:

Em: Would you like some of my juice Hannah?
Han: Thank you Ember, but I'm ok.
Em: Have you got a drink?
Han: No, but I'm all right
Em: Have some juice, here (passes juice forcefully forward)
Han: Thanks Em, that's very kind
Em: You got to take the lid off.
Han: Yes, I will.
Em: Don't drink it all!

I wonder where this bossy streak comes from... :)


Coming out of Waitangi today:

Me: Do you need to go wees?
Em: Nope.
Me: Well, when we get to Paihea you have to go all right?
Em: Why?
Me: We've got a long way to go.
Em: But why does I got to do wees?
Me: Otherwise you might go in your car seat and that would be yucky.
Em: I won't Mummy.  The wees will stay in my willy.
Me: You haven't got a willy sweetheart.
Em: What is it where my wees are?
Me: Your vagina.
Em: Bagina. Bagina.  I got a bagina.  Have you got a bagina Mummy?
Me: Yes.
Em: And boys got a willy?
Me: Yes, but it's called a penis.
Em: Penis? Why?
Me: It's the proper name for a willy.
Em: Oh. What's the Maori word for bagina?
Me: Um... I have no idea! (anyone know??)