Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Oh the humanity!

On Sunday we were down at the playground by the beach, taking our opportunity to get outside between rain showers (by showers, I actually mean 'downpours').  There was one break in the rain which was long enough for the playground to be almost dry, but there were low, dark, rain-full clouds looming ominously, and mist in the distance.

Em had quite a good play, including a trouserless splash in the sea, but when I felt the first little spits I knew another downpour was nearly upon us.  I called Ember:

Me: Come on Em, the rain's coming, we'd better get back in the car.
Em: Ooh!  Ok Mama.

She ran over to me then stopped, turned back to the playground and yelled at the top of her voice:

Em: Quick! Everyone! The rain is coming! THE RAIN IS COMING!

Overreaction much?!!  She was quite nonplussed when everyone ignored her warning and continued to play, although we were vindicated a couple of minutes later when the skies opened!

Friday, June 17, 2011


In the car on the way home tonight, I was asking Ember what she had done at Toddlers that day...

Me: So, who did you play with today?
em: Aidan
me: And who else?
Em: No, just Aidan!
Me: What about Sophie?
Em: No!
Me: What about Reitu? Did you play with Reitu?
Em: No, just Aidan!
Me: What about Max?
Em: No! No one else!
Me: Why not? Max is a nice boy.
Em: No, he not! I got no friends at Toddlers! Just Aidan!
Me: You can have more than one friend you know.  You don't have to just be friends with Aidan.
Em: No! I got no friends!
Me: What about Matai?
Em: Umm, yep!
Me: Was Matai there today?
Em: Yep!
Me: Did you play with him?
Em: Yep!
Me: So you do have other friends?
Em: Yes, I do Mummy.
Me: Who else is your friend?
Em: Sophie and Reitu and Max!

Contrary child... :)

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Last night....

After bedtime, several stories, a drink of water and a plain cracker, while Em was having five minutes reading time with the lights on:

Em:  Mama.(pause) Mama? (pause) Maaaamaaaaa. (pause) MAMA! MAAAAAMAAAAAAAAA!
Me: (going in) What?!
Em: I need to read you a story.
Me: A quick one, then it's lights out.
Em: ('reading') Tuck me in.  Time for bed. Who need to tucked in? I do. Goodnight baby elephant. (looks at me) And that's the end.
Me: Ok, goodnight.
Em: I need daddy cuddle. Little cuddle.
Me: Ok
Em: You got to ask nicely Mama. Got to say 'please Daddy for a little cuddle."
Me: Ok, I will.

Lights go out. Daddy goes in for little cuddle.  I go back in for little cuddle.  Silence...

10 minutes later:

Em:  Mama.(pause) Mama? (pause) Maaaamaaaaa. (pause) MAMA! MAAAAAMAAAAAAAAA!
Me: (going in) What?!
Em: I need something to cuddle.  Need a toy.
Me: Ok.  This one? (teddy) 
Em:  Ummm, yep!
Me: Here you go.  Good night
Em: Good night.

10 minutes later:

Em:  Mama.(pause) Mama? (pause) Maaaamaaaaa. (pause) MAMA! MAAAAAMAAAAAAAAA!
Me: (going in) What?!
Em:  Need to take the strangle off!
(I remove the teddy bear's bow tie)
Me: Is that better?
Em: Yep.  That's the Mummy one.  Need the Daddy one.
(I get the 'daddy' teddy, and the baby one)

Silence.  Finally.  Till my phone message alert goes off. D'oh!  At least she stays in bed I suppose. :)

Monday, June 13, 2011

Be careful!

Ember has recently become very danger aware, which is good, but I think she may be taking it a bit too far.  We have a lot of conversations like this at the moment:

Em: Here Dada, here's some orange for you
Si: Thanks
Em: You got to be careful
Si: Ok, I will
Em: You got to be careful eat your orange or you might fall off the bed and you go on the floor and the car come along and you get squashed, like that (claps her hands together).
Si: Ok, I'll be careful.
Em: You got to be careful Dada, eat your orange. Get squashed *clap*

We have lots of variations on this little story - apparently all sorts of things are far more hazardous than you might think!  I must try to get one of the episodes down verbatim (if I can stop laughing long enough to write!)

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Sing! But not now...

In the car on the way in this morning...

Em: I got seats... I got seats in my.... I got seats in my... in my bus.  I got seats in my bus Mama.
Me: Do the wheels on your bus go round and round?
Em: No, it's a green bus. I can drive it. In my seat.
Me: Oh, ok
Em: You got to sing it Mama.
Me: (singing) The wheels on the bus go round and round...
Em: No, not now!
Me: When do you want me to sing it?
Em: When I'm bigger.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011


Just a few bits and pieces from the last couple of days:

Me: (arriving home from work) How was your day?
Em: Good
Me: Did you have fun at Playcentre?
Em: Yep
Me: What did you do?
Em: Boy tell me
Me: What did he tell you?
Em: Boy tell me, he say no.
Me: Did he tell you off?
Em: Yes, he did
Me: Why did he tell you off?
Em: He say "You a kangaroo" and I say "No boy, I'm Ember!"
Me: Did he?
Em: Yes, I say "No boy, I don't like it."

Tonight in bed, after requesting a 'daddy cuddle'
Si: Night night Em
Em: (popping out from under covers) You find me!
Si: I did.
Em: You wake me up Dada!

Sunday, June 5, 2011

After nappies is...

I am still trying to convince Ember about toilet training - she seems to get the theory but not the practice.  Although after this morning I'm not so sure.

Me: Look Em, I got you some big girl nappies. 
Em: Why?
Me: They're in between nappies and knickers.  Look they've got princesses on them, and you can put them on standing up.
Em: They got princesses on it?
Me: Yes, and they help you know when you've done wees.
Em: Why?
Me: Because big girls don't wear nappies do they?
Em: No
Me: What do big girls wear?
Em: (pause) Boys?

(Cue hilarity from Mama and Nana Jay)

Nana: I do hope not! Not for a few years yet Ember!

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Poor Man!

This one requires a little bit of back story (unless you're Laura) but I'll give you the conversation first and then the back story.  Nana Jay is visiting today and despite Ember being horrendously tired from a late night, early morning and no day sleep, little one was determined to delay bed time as long as possible to maximise Nana-time.

After cleaning her teeth, Em jumped on to Nana's lap and suddenly said:
Em: Poor Man!
Nana: Who?
Em: Man, Laura's Man.  He sad, he fall off the bed!
Nana: Did he?  Is he all right?
Em: Yes, he happy now.  He fall off the bed, go bump.
Nana: Oh dear.
Em: Poor Man.

Laura's partner (what do you refer to him as Laura? fiance?) is actually called Ted, but Ember has always called him 'Man'.  Everyone else is either a boy or a girl, but Ted is just Man.  Ted is currently overseas and not very well, so Laura had him on skype while she and William (baby) went about their evening.  Ember and I came over for a visit, and Em spotted 'Man' on the computer.  She was very concerned that he looked sad, and then started saying he had fallen off the bed, I think because he moved the computer at his end, which made the picture go wobbly for a bit.  Goodness knows what made her think of it tonight though!

Friday, June 3, 2011

Tigers, Monsters and Dinosaurs (oh my!)

We've had such a funny week and I wish I had been able to record word for word some of the conversations Em and I have had. I'm shortly getting an iPad so hopefully (on the days I'm not driving) I can scribble down some of the things she says verbatim.

The theme running through the week seems to have been 'things that bite' namely tigers, monsters and dinosaurs. We spend rather a lot of time having to run from one or all of the above, and then equal amounts of time catching miniature versions of the same and taking them home (always one for Em, one for me, one for daddy and one for Pocoyo.  Ember's one is always green and the rest of us get a different colour each.  Sometimes there's only one left so we have to bring him too, as he's sad.  In fact just this morning on the way in, I was feeding nutrigrain to a small purple tiger...)

We had another really funny conversation in the car yesterday.  Charlie had found a burger king toy on his rounds during the day (I googled it; apparently it's 'Destroyer' from the Thor movie) and gave it to Ember.  This is him:

Ember did her wonderfully melodramatic gasp and immediately named him 'Rescue Man'.  Then she started singing him a theme song, which went along the lines of 'Rescue man, Rescue man, he goes up, he goes down, he got chocolate in his car'  Charlie and I added the line "Eats it while he drives around".

In an unrelated conversation, Ember said to Charlie
Em:  I got a car Charlie
Ch: Do you?
Em: Yes, it's green.  I got a green car.
Ch: Cool
Em: You want to come in my car Charlie?  It's got chocolate in it.  And it's got pempernints in it.
Ch: Does it have chocolate-covered peppermints?
Em: Yes and it got lolly pops in it.
Ch: Ok, I'll come in your car.
Em: You want to come in my car Mama?
Me: Can I drive?
Em: No, I got to drive.
Me: Do you have a licence?
Em: Nope.  I can drive it.
Me: How are you going to reach the pedals?
Em: No, it got no pedals.  Just got a wheel.
Me: How do you make the car go?
Em: Press the buttons on the wheel.  You want to come in my car?
Me: Hmmm....

Wii has a lot to answer for!