Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Easter Two: Grown-up phrases

Em comes out with some lovely little phrases she has obviously picked up from me and Si, or at Toddlers.  A couple of gems she came out with over Easter:

Me:  Ember, come and put your shoes on
Em:  No
Me: Do you want to wear your new boots (blue gumboots with silver stars)
Em: Oh YES, my BEAUTIFUL boots!

In the car, after visiting Laura:
Em:  Well, that was great!

(I can assure you it was all enthusiasm and no sarcasm!)

Easter One: Styles of Play

I've just had five days off over Easter and didn't get around to blogging.  Certainly not because of a lack of Emberisms though, I can assure you!

One of my good friends, who has a little girl 6 weeks older than Em, came down to stay on Saturday night.  We'll call them the A Team :).  Little A and Ember have always been pretty similar in terms of their development - height, mobility, language etc - but it is now becoming obvious that they are very different in the way that they play, and this caused some very interesting conflicts.  Little A is very physical and likes to run, jump, slide, roll, etc, particularly on the beach, while Em is more of an imaginative/dramatic player.  An example - we were on the beach and Little A was throwing herself around in the sand as usual, while Em was demanding to be carried because "the sea is chasing me".  Em and I dug a hole and then Em started jumping over it, adding the incentive that there were crocodiles in the hole.  She was doing very calculated big jumps to make sure she cleared the hole and kept away from the crocodiles.  Little A on the other hand was throwing herself with abandon, in, on and over the hole.  Em was getting quite upset as Little A was getting eaten by the crocodiles!

I'm sure that as they get older and more able to accommodate they will play well together again.  But for now, tears and tantrums were the general result.  Although they did manage to share a (very small) bath with no physical violence!

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Lollipops and Nuts

Given the length of my journey to work, and the horrendous price of petrol, I've been carpooling for the last year or so, and Ember comes too on Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays.  Charlie's car is her favourite because he has 'pempernints' and she's allowed to have one (one) if she asks nicely. Today, however, we were in Jon's car (usually Jon and Jo's car, but Jo is away in Bali), in the back seat.  The last time we were in Jon's car, Ember invented a game with the unused middle seat belt, using the metal clippy bit to 'check' my back.  She started it up again today, and I was curious.

Em: I going to check Piggle's back (Iggle Piggle is a blue soft toy.  See here for more info)
Me: Why do you need to check his back?
Em: Because I check it.
Me: But why? What do you think might be wrong with his back?
Em: He got stuff on it.  (pause, while she thinks)  He got lollipops on his back, all sticky, look.
Me: Oh, ok.
(she pokes Piggle in the back of the neck with the seat belt clip)
Em:  All gone now.
Me: Oh good.
Em: I check your back Mama?
Me: Have I got lollipops on my back too?
Em: No! (laughs) You got no lollipops on there! (laughs)
Me: So why do you need to check my back?
Em: I check it?
Me: Ok (turn sideways so Ember can poke my neck with the seat belt clip)
Em: I check you got nuts on your back.
Me: (dawning realisation) Oh, right...
Em: All done Mama, you got no nuts on there.

It all suddenly became clear.  The seat belt clip is vaguely the same shape as the nit comb, which has been in daily service on Ember's hair as I check for  and get rid of lice (aka 'nuts).

Everything in Ember world does make sense once you have the context... well, most things anyway. I'm still not sure about the lollipops.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

No carrots

One of Ember's favourite books from the library is 'Miranda's Numbers'.  It's written by Miranda Harcourt and someone else, and uses lots of different techniques to subliminally implant numbers into children's brains.  That sounds more sinister than it actually is, and it's a nice enough story.

Anyway, it starts from "0 - zero looks like an empty plate" and I happened to be explaining the concept of zero to Ember at a time when she was eating a carrot.  Consequently, when we were reading the book at bedtime last night (sans carrots), when we got to this page, Ember held up her fist and said "Look mummy, zero, got no carrots!"

I have visions of her getting to school aged five, and a teacher saying "How many do I have, if I have zero?" and Ember replying "You got no carrots!"

Ah well, it's a start :)

Monday, April 18, 2011

Juice and toothpaste

Ember and I were stopping to fill up the car with petrol before heading into the Tron for a birthday party (for one of her Toddlers friends).  Em equates the petrol station with lollipops, so I headed her off at the pass by telling her we were going to get petrol, but no treats.  She asked for juice instead and since we had a longish trip ahead, I concurred.  However...

Me:  You can have a juice, but it might taste funny because you've just brushed your teeth.
Em: I have juice?
Me: Yes, but it might taste funny.
Em: Why?
Me: When you've just cleaned your teeth, some things taste a bit funny, until the toothpaste wears off.
Em: Juice got toothpaste in it?
Me: No... um... It just might taste funny, ok?
Em: I have juice?
Me: Yes.

We stopped for petrol and I got her a juice.

Me: Here you go. Don't squeeze it.
Em: I won't squeeze it Mummy. (drinks juice... laughs) It taste funny! (laughs some more, then hands it to me)  Don't want it, got toothpaste in it.
Me: No, it doesn't have... never mind.

When we were nearly in town, I offered it to her again.

Me: Do you want your juice now?
Em: No, taste funny.
Me: It should be ok now, you brushed your teeth quite a while ago, so it's probably worn off.  Do you want to try?
Em: No, juice got toothpaste in it.
Me: No, its... I took all the toothpaste out, it's all gone.
Em: Ok!  (drinks juice).  It taste nice!

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Colours (color es)

Ember learned all her colours pretty early - she was about 18 months and learned them all in about a week, prompted initially by Nana's yellow car.  So I guess it should have been no surprise, when we were reading stories tonight, that Ember, completely unprompted, pointed to something green on a page and said "Look, it's verde."

I tried a few more, and discovered she also knows rojo (red), amarillo (yellow) and azul (blue). 

At least the hours of Dora endurance have not been in vain...  Perhaps she'll end up bilingual if she watches it for a few more hours (although Simon and I will probably be gibbering in the corner by that time!)

Friday, April 15, 2011

Creepy Crawlies

The scourge of parenthood - we have nits.  It makes me shudder (and itch) just thinking about the lousy little blighters.  On the plus side, there has been much opportunity for Emberisms as well!

(in the car on the way home from Toddlers)
Me:  Now Em, when we get home, we're going to have to comb your hair lots, and spray some stuff in it, and wash it, and comb it some more. OK?
Em: Why?
Me: You've got nits.  They're like little bugs which are living in your hair, and that's why your head has been so itchy.
Em: I got knots?
Me: Nits, they're called nits.
Em: I see the nuts?
Me: Yep, you can see the nits when I comb them out.
Em: Mummy got nuts?
Me: Yes, I've got nits too.  So I have to comb my hair lots too.
Em: I see Mummy's nuts?
Me: Sure.
Em: Daddy got nuts?
(you can see where this was heading)
Me:  Um. I don't know.  I'll have to see if daddy has nits but I don't think he does
Em: Daddy got no nuts!

You'll be pleased to know Ember and I are now de-loused (and will continue to de-louse for the next three weeks).  Sheets and pillowcases have been changed, hair brushes boiled, clothes washed... what a palaver!

Oh, and as it turns out, Daddy only had one 'nut' - but we are going to de-louse him to be sure.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Brought to you by the letter 'E'

Ember has recently started to recognise the letter 'E' (capital only) as being 'her name'.  She gets very excited whenever she sees one, and points it out to anyone and everyone who happens to be around.  On the journey home today I think we saw about 30 - it's amazing how many signs have capital 'E' on them once you are looking!!

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Santa and Bunnies

Ember got out the kite that she made (with a little help) on the weekend, and wrapped the ribbon round her wrist.

Em: Look, I Grandpa!
Me: Are you?
Em: No, I Santa!
Me: Why are you Santa?
Em: Because I'm Santa!
(ribbon comes unwrapped)
Em: Oh no, I not Santa, I Ember!
Me: Why does wrapping the ribbon around your wrist make you Santa?
Em: I not Santa, I bunny.
Me: Are you a bunny?
Em: Bunny gives chickens.
Me: Really?
Em: Yes, bunny gives chickens and eggs.
Me: Yep
Em: Chocolate eggs.
(wraps ribbon around my wrist)
Em: Look Mummy, you Santa!

I have no idea.

Monday, April 11, 2011

A Simonism...

This is not strictly an Emberism, but very funny nonetheless!

Simon and I were at the opening night of The Witches of Eastwick at the Harlequin Theatre (Em was being looked after by Nana), and were entitled to a free bubbles or orange juice with our ticket.  Si is not much of a bubbles man, so asked if he could have regular white wine instead.  After some conferring it was decided this was ok.  The conversation then went thus:

Bar guy:  So, what did you want instead?
Simon: A flat white
Bar guy: Uhhh...
Simon: I mean a flat white wine.  A white wine.  With no bubbles.
Bar guy: Ok.  Would you like sauvignon or chardonnay?
Simon: Yes, that's fine, thanks.
Bar guy: ...
Renee:  He'll have a sauvignon.

Now we know where Em gets it from!!

Sunday, April 10, 2011


Ember and I were having a feijoa party courtesy of Dorothy (the-lady-not-the-dinosaur) when there was a banging noise outside.

Em: What was that noise?
Me: I don't know
Em: Who's knocking on the window?
Me: I don't know, who do you think it was?
Em: Sarah!
Me: You think so?
Em:  Yes, she's saying "Ember, I'm here"
(more feijoa eating)
Em: What was that noise?
Me: I think it was the wind banging the deck roof.
Em: No, it's Sarah.
Me: Really, what do you think Sarah's doing out there?
Em: Sarah come to see Ember!
Me: Well, you never know.  Oh look the feijoas are all gone.
Em: We get more, come on Mummy
Me: We can't get any now.
Em: Yes, we go see Dorothy dinosaur, no not dinosaur, lady.
Me: We can't, she lives in Hamilton.  I might get some more tomorrow.
Em: No, we go now, come on Mummy, we go Hamilton
Me: Do you want your banana?
Em: I put it in my pocket.  Oh no! I got no pocket!

All in all, a very fun feijoa party!

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Evading the question

Em may have a future career as a politician, as she is getting very good at evading the question when she doesn't know (or doesn't want to give) the answer.  A case in point:

Me: Can you remember how old you are Ember?
Em: I'm turning in August.
Me: Yes that's right, your birthday's in August.  Can you remember how old you are now?
Em: I'm a big girl!
Me: Yes, you are.  But can you remember how old you are?
Em: (pause) I'm... (pause, hoping I might fill in the gap) six?
Me: Not yet!  You're two.
Em: Yes, I'm two.  I'm two Jo.  Charlie, I'm two.  I'm two Jon.  I'm two.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

A new type of vegetable...

Si: (on arrival back from the shop) Look! I got brussels sprouts!
Em: You got special brouts dada!


When Ember and I were watching a bit of Wiggles this morning (at 5.30, thanks to the end of DLS time), she suddenly lifted up my top and said: "What's in your tummy mama?"

With the spate of recent local pregnancies, we've been having a lot of "I've got a baby in my tummy; have you got a baby in your tummy?" type of conversations, so I assumed that was where we were heading in this instance as well.

"Nothing" I replied. "What have you got in your tummy?" (expecting "I've got a baby...")
"Broccoli and carrots" she said.

She did have a hungry day yesterday, and ate up all her dinner (which earned her two mini chocolate eggs for afters), so I guess it was still on her mind!

Monday, April 4, 2011

More dinosaurs

Dinosaurs seem to be a recurring theme in Ember world at the moment.  On Sunday we were having a late afternoon play at the playground, and Ember started looking for dinosaurs through the play binoculars .  She must have seen some as she suddenly went running down the playground steps onto the path where she gently scooped up something the size of a small, invisible dog.  She carried it gently back to me and said:
Em: Look Mummy, it's my dinosaur!
Me: That looks like a nice dinosaur.
Em: You can pat him.
Me: OK
Em: Be gentle or he might bite you.

I was petting the dinosaur when suddenly she made her hand into a mouth, went 'RARRR, Yum!' and the dinosaur bit me!  An hilarious game of 'chase mummy round the park being a munching dinosaur' ensued...