Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Speeding Daddies and Pink Beans

I'd like to preface this post by saying that Ember's daddy, Simon, is a very circumspect driver, so much so that on occasion I have called him a "nana driver" ;)  I mention this only because it makes the conversation I had with Ember in the car yesterday, so much more funny!

Em: Muuuummmmmmmyyyyy, are we nearly home?
Me: No.
Em: Have we got a long way to go?
Me: Yes.
Em: Ooooooooooh. Well are you driving one hundred?
Me: No, I'm only allowed to drive at eighty on this bit, so I'm driving at eighty.
Em: When you see the sign that says one hundred, make sure you drive at one hundred, ok?
Me: Ok.
Em: (wee pause) Daddy doesn't slow down when there's a different number on the sign; he just goes one hundred.
Me: Oh, does he now?
Em: Yep he just goes one hundred all the times. And the policemans doesn't give him any tickets.
Me: Is that right?
Em: Yes, because they're scared of big trucks [Si has a Jeep] and when they see him, they just go "AAAAAH!" and run back into their cars and don't give him any tickets.
Me: Did Daddy tell you that?
Em: No, I just know it.  Because Daddy's big and strong enough and if they gived him a ticket he would just rip it up.
Me: Then they'd give him another one.
Em: He'd just rip that one up too. He rips up all of the tickets.
Me: Then they would take him to jail.
Em: No they wouldn't; he wouldn't go.
Me: He would have to go.
Em: No. He'd just push them up into the hills.
Me: The hills?
Em: Yes, he'd push them up into the hills and they'd go "AAAAAH" and run away and away.
Me: You're full of beans today. Did you have baked beans for lunch?
Em: No, Ms Daniels gived them to me.
Me: What?
Em: The beans! And I gobbled them all up.
Me: What kind of beans?
Em: Pink ones; they tasted like strawberries.
Me: I think you're telling stories.
Em: No, I'm not!  Stop laughing Mummy!

In my defence, Nana was also laughing :)

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Besmirching Mummy's Reputation

I might need to change the title of my blog, as Ember is now a big School Girl!  In New Zealand the school year runs from February to December, but you can start school any time from the day you turn five, and you have to start by the time you're six.  Ember's birthday was on a Saturday, and she started the following Monday, part way into term 3.  The school had opened a new, new entrant classroom at the beginning of rerm 3 so the kids are all around the same age, and there were only seven of them when she started (there are about 12 now).  She's having a fantastic time, and loves her teacher, so that's the main thing anyway. :)

We have a new car pool buddy, Mike, and luckily he knew me quite well before we started car pooling as Ember has been doing her best to sully my good name.  The other day, halfway home, Ember suddenly said to me: "Mummy, I don't like it when you go and see the naughty boys," and refused to elaborate on what she meant.  I still have no idea!

This morning when Nana got out of the car, Ember blew her some kisses through the window.

Em: I blew Nana kissles!  I mean kisses! That was kind, wasn't it?
Me: Yes, it was.
Em: Mummy, are blow kisses real?
Me: What do you mean?
Em: When you blow someone a kiss, is it real?
Me: Well, it's a real thing.  You really blow someone a kiss, don't you?
Em: Some people say it's not.
Me: Who?
Em: The boys.  The boys say blowing a kiss isn't a real kiss.
Me: Which boys?
Em: All of them! Except Curtis.

It was quite hard to stifle my laughter...