Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Naughty Mummy Alien

Ember might be a natural film maker as she seems to have discovered story boarding.  Her current favourite activity is drawing a series of pictures then holding them up in turn while she tells a story.  Tonight I made her slow down while she told me the story, so I could write it down.  This was her third or fourth tale of the evening, and I'm not entirely sure how the pictures match up, so I'll write the story (verbatim!) and then post the pics. The second pic down was part of a different story, to do with a sad daddy and the naughty spider robot, but I liked it, so it's here too!

Ember's story:

One day there was two aliens.  One alien was very sad; he didn't have any friends. Then there was a nice baby and the naughty alien hit him by mistake! Now the daddy alien put them in time out. Then the naughty mummy throwed them in the dungeon [much laughter]. Then the daddy, there was one person who didn't even get in the dungeon so he tried to find him but the daddy winned and the mummy was so sad.

Monday, October 22, 2012

No sausages please

Meal times can be interesting in our house as Simon is a meat eater, I am vegan, and Ember seems to be vegetarian by choice. And she's fussy, but at least she's healthy.

 Mostly her dinners consist of black olives, raw carrot sticks, raw broccoli and cauliflower, cheese, and some sort of plain carb - plain pasta, plain rice, plain couscous, plain uncooked pizza base (the bready type) or canned spaghetti on toast. We do get her to try new things occasionally, but it's very rare she will admit to liking anything outside of her repertoire.

We had this random conversation on the way to walk the dog at the beach:

Me: What were they selling outside the SuperValue?
Si: Sausage sizzle I think. We could go and get a sausage in bread Ember.
Em: I don't like sausages.
Si: No, they probably don't have vege sausages.
Me: She doesn't eat any sausages.
Si: I should get her those frankfurter ones in a can; everyone likes those.
Me: She doesn't like any sausages I've tried her on. Even vegetarian ones, frankfurters, cheerios [cocktail sausages], sausage rolls - she won't eat any of them.
Si: I guess you won't like my Guinness and leek ones then Em?
Em: No! I don't like any of those sausages.
Si: Why?
Em: Because I doesn't!
Si: But there must be a reason. Is it the taste?
Em: I don't like them!
Me: Is it the way they taste, or their texture, the way they feel in your mouth?
Em: The taste. I don't like meat; that's for dogs.
Si: Fair enough I suppose.
Me: What about the vegetarian ones?
Em: They make me go funny in my head.

Maybe that's been the problem all along!

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Annoying, incompetent boys

Simon and Ember and I were heading to the hot pools with friends this morning, and Simon and I had a wee difference of opinion in the process of getting ready.  About 20 minutes later, in the car on the way there, Ember piped up in a very serious voice:

Em: Mummy and Daddy.
Me: yes?
Em: and Daddy.
Si: yes?
Em: (pause while she gathers her thoughts) Why did you all 'nnoyed with eachst other when you was getting ready?
Me: we did get a bit annoyed didn't we? But we're ok now. Sometimes people do just get annoyed with each other.
Em: Well, you shouldn't do that. Don't get 'nnoyed with eachst other any more, ok?
Si: ok
Me: ok.  You know we weren't annoyed with you, don't you?  We just got a little bit cross with each other, but it's ok now.
Em: And Daddy, you're the 'nnoyest.
Si: I'm the what? The noisiest?
Me: I think you're the "annoyingest"
Em: yes, you're the 'nnoyest Daddy.
Si: Why am I the annoyingest?!
Em: Becasue you talked to Mummy the most, so you're the annoyest.
Me: haha (I'm very mature)

Later, at the pools, Ember had a few goes on the small yellow slide which went into the little kids' pool. It was really meant for under-5s but some older boys had a few goes throwing themselves down it, as older boys always do. Ember was very indignant.

Em:  Those boys are so incompetent!
Me: Incompetent? Why?
Em: Because they splash too loud!

That's them told!

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Lucky flamingos!

Ember and I were walking down to the new market this morning (well, I was walking and Ember was rolling in the buggy) when completely out of nowhere we had this conversation.

Em: Mummy. I doesn't like to chase flamingos.
Me: You don't like what?
Em: I don't like to chase flamingos.
Me: Oh. Ok...
Em: That's why flamingos are pink. ('That's why' usually means 'because')
Me: Ok
Me: So, why don't you like to chase flamingos?
Me: What? I don't understand. Why did you say you don't like to chase flamingos?

I'm pretty sure she didn't have anything "herbal" for breakfast, but I won't swear to it after that conversation!

Friday, October 19, 2012

No fire in his belly

We went down to the opening of the new wharf in Raglan this evening, and walked home as the sun was disappearing, a new moon in the sky ("where's the rest of the moon gone Mummy? Silly moon!").  The sky was that twilight blue where the clouds look grey.

Em: Look Mummy!  Why is that a shadow cloud?
Me: It looks grey doesn't it. That's because it's getting dark.
Em: Mummy! It's a dragon!
Me: It does look like a dragon doesn't it?
Em: It IS a dragon.  Look, there's its mouth.
Me: Oh yeah. Do you think it's roaring?
Em: Yep, he's saying RAAAAARRRRRR.  But he doesn't have any fire in his belly so he won't burn us up.
Me: Oh good.
Em: He does have fire in his belly but he won't roar it at us.  He only roars it at the baddies.  He won't hurt the goodies.
Me: Are we goodies or baddies?
Em: Goodies.
Me: How do you know who are the goodies and who are the baddies?
Em: You and me and Daddy and Daddy's friend and Uncle Nick and all those families are goodies.
Me: How do you know if someone's a baddy?
Em:  Um, because, they tries to hurt you.
Me: Do you know any baddies?
Em: Nope.
Me: That must be why the dragon isn't roaring fire.
Em: Yep, you're right Mummy.

Sunday, October 14, 2012

The Star Bed

We were backing up the driveway this morning, heading for town to return some library books, and Ember was waving goodbye to Tabasco, our dog.

Em: That used to be my star bed didn't it?
Me: Star bed? Which star bed sweety?
Em: The one Tabasco haves.
Me: Oh, you mean the pull-out couch thing?  Yes, that used to be yours.
Em: When I was three, ay. (now that she's four, everything in the past is 'when I was three')
Me: Yes, and then Tabasco decided he liked it, and now it's his bed, isn't it?
Em: Yes, I let him have it.  (laughing wickedly) And sometimes, when it's sunny and the star bed is in the sun, I roll on it!
Me: Yes, you do, don't you.
Em: Because I'm the banana-eating, sun-rolling girl!

Could be her super hero name I guess... :)

Saturday, October 6, 2012

So that's where you go...

Ember has recently really gotten into playing with her blocks. She, happily helped by Simon, often builds houses for her animals and dolls, towers, and castles. Today we were playing castles and Em suddenly said in excitement:

Em: Look mummy, I built a fastory!
Me: A fastory?
Em: yes, a fastory, look!
Me: What's a fastory?
Em: it's the place you go when you have your dressing gown on!

Of course...

Friday, October 5, 2012

You REALLY don't want to read Ember's diary...

While we were staying at Nana Jay's house earlier this week, Em got a little bit of a tummy upset.  On the plus side, I managed to get her on the toilet to do it (usually she waits until she has a night nappy on before she goes 'number twos' - we're hoping eventually she'll decide on her own to use the toilet for everything... I'm sure by 16 she'll have it nailed...).

Ember has a pretty strong constitution and hasn't had a tummy bug (touch wood) since she was 11 months old (when she threw up once, and I was then ill for a week), so the whole experience was quite novel for her.  Her face was a picture of curiosity and consternation and she said to me:

Em: Mummy! Did you hear that farties? That came out like a killing!  It went 'pppeeeeeeeoooowww' (with matching hand gestures)
Me: Yes, it's ok sweety, you just have a bit of diarrhoea.


Em:  Mummy, is my diary gone now?
Me: Does your tummy feel better?
Em: Yep!  I hasn't got a diary any more?
Me: No, I guess it's gone.
Em: I didn't like that diary.

An Ember Story told by Ember!