A little collection of weekend Emberisms for your edification. Or something.
Simon and I were being silly in the car this afternoon on our way to the shop, when we were told off by our nearly-four-year old.
Em: Stop it right now you guys!
(we continue. I may have said 'pooh bum'.)
Em: I told you, both of you, I want you to stop it right now or I'm going to... shut you up in the jail.
Si: Oh dear, that sounds serious.
Em: You don't want to go in my jail?
Me: No, I don't particularly want to go to jail.
Em: I will come and get you when you're sleeping and lock you in the cage. But there are lots of beds in my jail. And the cages have lots of beds in them and you can sleep in the jail. And when you waked up, I'll open the cage and you can come out!
Me: Oh, well, that sounds ok.
Em: But some of the cages have wees in them. And they is killing wees.
Me: Killing wees?
Em: Yep, they's my killing wees. But it's ok Mummy, my killing wees only kills the naughty people. They doesn't kill you.
At the library:
Si: Are you ready to go now Em?
Em: Yep, come on Dad, let's ride!
Tonight, looking at the TV guide:
Si: Any movies on?
Me: Well, 'Nights in the Gardens of Spain' is on Sunday theatre. But I'm not sure it's your kind of thing.
Si: What's it about?
Me: It's based on the book by Witi Ihimaera, and it's a really good book, but there are quite a few scenes about gay sex in public toilets and stuff.
Si: Hmm, maybe not.
Em: (gasp of excitement) I love that, it's my favourite!