Renee's Indian Wedding... or something...

Ember and I were in the car this evening, sheltering from the rain and waiting for our new carpool friend Fiona, and for Simon, who was working until 5.30.  I was still within range of my work wifi so I took the opportunity to have a look at the NZ Herald on my iPad.  Just as I closed it and went to put it away, Ember piped up:

Em: Did you get married last week?
Me: Um... no... why?
Em: Then why was you looking at the photos?
Me: What photos?
Em: Of your wedding.
Me: I haven't looked at my wedding photos for ages...
Em: Yes, you looked at them on your little TV [her name for my iPad]
Me: When?
Em: Just when you closed it.
Me: Just now you mean?
Em: (in her 'you're an idiot' voice) Yes, on your little TV!
Me: I wasn't looking at wedding photos...
Em: What was you then?

I flicked the iPad back open, showing her the article I had been looking at in the Herald app, about the 'mystery woman' who joined the Indian team in their Olympic parade.

Me: This one?
Em: Yes, is that you?
Me: Uh, no, this is the Indian Olympic team.
Em: But where was I?
Me: You weren't there.
Em: But where was I?
Me: You were at home in bed.
Em: You left me alone?
Me: No, I wasn't there either!
Em: Yes you was. In the photo.
Me: That's not me! It's the Indian Olympic team!
Em: Oh. But where was I?
Me: You were at home. I was at home. They were in London, at the Olympics.
Em: Oh. (pause) Can you open my cheese for me Mummy?

Simon's shattered Olympic dream

We were watching the men's gymnastics on TV this afternoon, and Ember was quite taken with it, prancing around doing her own version of the tricks. 

Em: I can do that! I'm going to do that!
Me: What, gymnastics, or the Olympics?
Em: The 'lympics.
(Gymnast does a particularly impressive series of  flips in his floor routine.)
Si: I can do that.
Me: (to Ember) Do you think Daddy could do that?
Em: No! (to Simon)  You can't do that Daddy, you would knock over your beer!
Si: Yes, I'd probably get kicked out of the pub too...

Simon was drinking a very innocuous cup of tea at the time.

Anyone want to psycho-analyse this?

Ember's preschool is just over the road from my office, so sometimes she comes in to my office in the morning before I take her over there.  We have quite a long commute and often I pluck Em straight from bed and put her into the car, so she can sleep a bit more on the way if she needs to, and I get her dressed and ready in my office.

One of Ember's favourite things to do when she comes into my office is to draw pictures on scrap paper using my highlighters.  She drew me one the other morning, and it's interesting to see how her drawing skills are developing - instead of random scribbles she now has a much clearer idea of what she is drawing.  Sometimes it's even clear to other people!

This was a recent 'masterpiece':

When she finished it, she showed it to me and I talked to her about it, as I always try to do...

Me: I like your picture Ember.  I can see the grass down here, and a yellow sun, and is this another sun?
Em: Yes, that's the blue sun.
Me: Wow, it'd be nice to have two suns, wouldn't it?  And what about this pink thing in the middle, can you tell me about that?  It looks a little bit like a cat to me.  Is it a cat?

[with some kids you wouldn't want to say this as they would get offended that you couldn't tell what it was.  However, Ember quite often doesn't decide what something is until she's finished drawing it and sees what it looks like, so she's usually open to suggestions!]

Em: No, that's the killing thing.
Me: The killing thing?
Em: Yes, that's the killing thing that kills all the naughty animals.
Me: Oh dear, that doesn't sound very nice.
Em: (sounding cross) No, it only kills the naughty ones!
Me: Well, I don't really like to kill any animals - we don't have to just kill anything naughty, do we?
Em: Yes, that pink one kills the naughty animals, and the blue one kills the nice animals!

I decided not to go any further with that conversation...  I blame Simon for letting her watch Ben10!

Ye Olde Traine

Em: Mum, can we go on a train the next time? [this seems to mean 'sometime in the future']
Me: Yep
Em: Because we didn't go on the train for a hundred years...