Sometimes, deep in a very awkward conversation with Em, I wonder how I got myself into the hole I've found myself in, as I realise that I'm in so deep it's almost impossible to get out!
Ember and I had one of these fantastic conversations today, which started when she found a packet of sanitary pads in my bag and asked what they were. I tried to explain in a four-year-old friendly kind of way, and she then asked if she could have one for her knickers. I explained that she didn't need one, and besides, they were a bit big, because they were grown up size. But then she found the panty liners and decided they were the kids' ones, and asked if she could have one, at which point I gave in and said yes. However, I advised her not to wave it around in public, as people might get embarrassed.
Em: What's embarrassed?
Me: It's... well... it's when you feel a bit silly... well, imagine if I did a fart and lots of people heard and laughed, then I might feel embarrassed.
Em: And if I waved this around then the people might laugh and I might be embarrassed?
Me: Well, they might be embarrassed. It's a bit like knickers; you don't wave knickers around in public do you?
Me: Um, well, because they are private things.
Em: I wouldn't be embarrassed. I'd just be happy.
Em: This is how I look when I'm happy
[I look around and Ember has a completely deadpan expression on her face]
Me: Oh, you must be Kristen Stewart then.
Me: Kristen Stewart.
Em: Kristin Stupid?
Me: Close enough.
Em: DON'T CALL ME THAT!
We went down to the lovely Jo's shop to get some chippies for dinner and had to walk over the wet grass. Ember is a bit of a wimp about wet grass, so I carried her over, but when I got the chips I couldn't carry her and them back to the car at the same time. I took the chips first (priorities!), and when I came back for Ember, she was talking to a man with a little girl who looked just a little bit older than Ember.
Em: I wasn't scared of him.
Em: I just said 'hello'. And he had the same drink as me!
Me: I think that was probably for his little girl.
Em: She's a lovely girl. I love her. She's my best friend.
Me: Did you talk to her?
Em: No, I think she was a bit shy of me.
Me: Do you know her name? Have you met her before?
Me: Then why is she your best friend? How do you know she's lovely?
Em: She just is, she's wonderful!