This is not strictly an Emberism, but very funny nonetheless!
Simon and I were at the opening night of The Witches of Eastwick at the Harlequin Theatre (Em was being looked after by Nana), and were entitled to a free bubbles or orange juice with our ticket. Si is not much of a bubbles man, so asked if he could have regular white wine instead. After some conferring it was decided this was ok. The conversation then went thus:
Bar guy: So, what did you want instead?
Simon: A flat white
Bar guy: Uhhh...
Simon: I mean a flat white wine. A white wine. With no bubbles.
Bar guy: Ok. Would you like sauvignon or chardonnay?
Simon: Yes, that's fine, thanks.
Bar guy: ...
Renee: He'll have a sauvignon.
Now we know where Em gets it from!!